10 Things: I Didn't Know Before Becoming a Parent

(1) I would never need an alarm clock again.  Sunday morning, my two-year old woke up at 6:15am.  Now, remember I worked as a corporate lawyer for years and I don't remember even waking up this early in those days, except to catch a flight. I think the last time I set an alarm was....um.... before kids??

(2) I would become an expert negotiator. It goes something like this: "How about we color with the crayons after your have put your clothes back on and stop hiding under the dining table?"

(3) I would become a really good liar. I think I told this one today: "<insert name> called me today to find out why you didn't eat your yoghurt. Yes, good girl. I will ring <insert name> and tell them you ate your yoghurt". Today, I used her hand surgeon's name. I secretly hope she doesn't randomly announce to him that she ate her yoghurt at her appointment tomorrow morning...

(4) I would have my hand in so much poop. Literally.  The most distant and recent example of this was a couple weeks ago.

Usually when one of my girls have done a diaper blowout, I stand them up in the big laundry sink and use the extendable faucet to wash them down nicely.  Of course, before I do that, I have to carefully peal away the diaper and quickly (with one hand) discard it into a plastic bag I store under the laundry sink.  Well, first time this ever happened - I was in the process of peeling the diaper off and I lost control of it and it just opened out... plop...plop....plop.  My one hand was gripping my Mini-V, the other was now holding an open, half empty poopy diaper and I am staring at what has plopped into the sink. These were my thoughts: "What just happened??...I wish I had gloves... I wish I had another bag... If I blink, maybe we can go back in time... omg I have to use my hand and pick that sh*t up. Literally".  And I did.

No amount of anti-bacterial soap will erase that disgusting memory. This is where I remind myself I have two degrees plus a Masters and yet I find myself handling poop all day. So gross. Pregnancy should come with a poop warning.

(5) Children think it's absolutely normal to spit out into your hand whatever it is they have chewed and decided they don't want to swallow.  The worst part is they do it in public too. Oh, and if your hand is not freely available, be warned that they will just spit it out on you, the floor, really anywhere. Today, my daughter decided to not finish her pasta and so she just spat it out on my kitchen floor.  And then they will use your pants leg to wipe their dirty hands and mouths afterwards.

(6) The diaper bag is now my handbag. I never actually realized when I was pregnant that it would be a long time before I would be reunited with my handbag. I mean every now and then when I am out without the kids of course I leave the diaper bag at home and take a purse but I had no clue before kids that essentially the diaper bag would be all I would carry! I was never a real purse-kinda-gal anyway but I do miss carry around items beyond my "bare essentials" of wallet/lip gloss/keys/gum. I also sorta miss carrying around junk I don't need... toothpicks, restaurant candies I know will never make it to my stomach because of the bag lint attached to it, sachets of sugar, random bobby pins, random receipts shoved in my bag that should be thrown out...


(7) You never get to eat.  Parents of 2+ kids, you know what I am talking about. You and your partner tag team eating at restaurants: "honey, you eat first and I will feed the kids and then we can swap"... then you inhale your food the first instance you get because you don't quite know if you will get another five minutes uninterrupted to eat for a while. Sometimes I am so hungry and honestly, I don't get that five minutes just to get even a cracker to tide me over... between the "carry me Mommy!!!!" (whimpering ensues if you attempt to put them down) and then the constant diapering, feeding, crying... I think back to the good old days of one child. Man, those days were good! When she was down for a nap, I had all that time to myself.  Now I am just holding out for when I can ship them off the school. Maybe then I will eat.

(8) Going to the toilet becomes a spectator sport.  Not only does my toddler barrage me with a ton of questions about what I am about to do, but then she wants to be there, watch and get a running commentary during the main event. This is how it goes: "Mommy, you go wee-wee? I'm coming too... Is it big wee-wee? Maybe poo-poo? Did you fart? Was it big poo-poo? Will you wipe now? Can I see it? Can I flush it?".  Honestly, you would think I had just given birth to something memorable.

Sometimes I try to trick my toddler just so I can use the toilet alone in peace for once: "Mommy is going to...um... check something...." (quick exit) but this usually follows with tears and the pained wailing of "Moooooommy!! Where are yooooou? Come baaaaaack!" - not worth it, I think having a spectator and answering questions is slightly more tolerable than trying to back one out whilst listening to your child cry and scream for you like they are in pain.

I really miss the days of being able to go to the toilet in peace.  Sadly, the few occasional moments I do have the chance to go alone, I tend to drag it out like it is some sort of vacation. I take my phone, have a game all ready to play,  or sometimes I keep a nice new catalog waiting for me and then I take my time and sit there for several minutes, just enjoying the solitude.  It's really quite pathetic.

(9) It becomes normal to refer to yourself in the third person.  I honestly can't remember the last time I used "I" in a sentence  with my children.  It's always Mommy this or Mommy that. It's so bizarre when you actually think about it. I mean, I know that they know that I am Mommy, so why do we do it?

(10) That just my touch, hug and kiss, has the power to stop tears and make a crying child happy again. Now, that is a gift, maybe even a superpower!

'Annie' star all grown up!

This came up on my Yahoo browser today and I had to share!  Annie was one of my all-time favorite movies as a child.  The famous 1982 John Huston musical about an orphan who is taken in by a billionaire bachelor made its main star Aileen Quinn, who played the title character Annie, a recognizable face in every household.

Thirty years on, the movie has been released as a special edition on Blu-Ray and here is the star all grown up!

Taken from yahoo.com

Aileen Quinn is now a 41 year-old woman! Can you believe it!? I think she looks so different from her photo as Annie - would you recognize her on the street?

I am still here!

Once again, I have not been writing for a little while. My sweet little two-year old had a little accident and was in the ER last week, ending up with hand surgery.  She is doing great but what a scare, poor little thing.  She is still bandaged and on antibiotics but healing nicely.

Between that episode, battling the morning (all day) sickness with this pregnancy (uuuurgh!!) and finally getting possession of our new house, I have had no time at all to blog :(

I promise to write something more current soon! Stay tuned for product reviews coming your way very soon! Happy Blogging!

10 Things: Fall Garden Preparation

Fall is a nice way to end a leisurely warm summer. The leaves start to change into beautiful crimson and amber shades and then every gust of cool wind seems to leave the streets scattered with pretty fall foliage.  House porches welcome back pumpkins, scarecrows, corn husks and bales of hay.  It's a time to drink pumpkin spiced lattes, eat caramel apples start planning our upcoming Holiday season.

I really enjoy September, but it is also that time of the year when our yards start to wind down for the year. So here is a checklist of the essentials for this time of the year:

(1) Start pruning back your trees, bushes and hedges before the nights and mornings get too frosty.  You also need to cut back perennials and prepare them for the winter months.  Consider covering some less hardy perennials with hay and burlap before the frost. You want to time this so that it is after the last summer growth but before temperatures compromise your plants.  Aim for mid-late September.  By October, it is usually a little too cold in most states in the US

Hostas

(2) Now is the time to divide any bulbous plants and re-plant. These include hostas and calla lilies.  Hostas thrive during Fall replanting because the warm days coupled with cooler nights provide the perfect conditions for strong roots and winter preparation.

(3) This is also the time to plan your spring garden and plant the spring bulbs - tulips, daffodils, hyacinth, jaunquils. These bulbs do a lot better after having been underground during the winter months so get them into your ground during Fall the year before.

(4) Book your sprinklers to be blown out and winterized.  If you live in a climate where you experience sub-freezing conditions, as we do, your sprinklers must be blown out and closed until the temperature is steadily back over about 40F and in time for the Spring's first growth (Usually mid-April).  The cost involved is minimal - usually around $30, sometimes less, rarely much more.  This needs to be done sometime in early-mid October.

(5) If you plan on getting the help, you will need to organize leaf clean-up around the end of October, when most of the deciduous trees have completely finished expelling their season's leaves and before it is too cold.  Aim for the very end of the season so you don't need to do this too many times in the year, although expect to rake leaves a couple times to ensure your yard is tidy and in compliance with your city's leaf removal ordinances. Some cities allow you to rake your leaves directly to the curb of your street and a sweeper comes by on an allocated day to collect it. Other towns require you to bag your leaves for curbside collection.  Make sure you find out your town's regulations and comply accordingly. Many gardeners will actually take your leaves away with them and re-purpose them into mulch, so that helps too!

(6) Take stock of your lawn and prepare it for the next season.  Have it aerated to break up compressed soil so that water and nutrients can penetrate to the roots and sub-levels, apply a high-phosphorus mix to your soils to encourage Spring turf and cut your grass back for the last time of the season to 1 1/4 inches because disease is less likely to occur with short grass, plus shorter grass tends to encourage leaves to blow away rather than cling to the blades.

Pruning a dead branch or limb from a tree

(7) Trim any dead tree limbs so that the winter months of snow and wind pose no additional risks to you or your home.

(8) Mulch young plants.  The newly planted plants of the season are the most vulnerable in its first winter so you should add a layer of mulch (chopped leaves, weed-free straw or wood chips) after the first frost but before the ground freezes. As mentioned before, I have found added a layer of straw and then protected by burlap to be a great barrier between the new plants and the winter elements.

(9) Arrange now for your upcoming snow removal, or confirm with an existing contractor. Many landscapers provide this service during their down season so check rates and make sure your driveway, front stoop and any other access ways will be adequately cleared during a snowfall. Also make sure these areas will be salted to eradicate icing and ensuring safety.  This is especially important if you have regular front door visitors such as postal workers, UPS or a city sidewalk - which must be shoveled and salted by you.

(10) Order your firewood!  This is the time to clean out your wood-burning fireplace and chimneys and order your season's firewood.  Make sure this is stored properly, with a cover if you need, to keep the wood dry.  You should also keep the wood far enough from the house so as to not pose any additional fire risks to your property and to make sure any critters, such as rodents or bugs stay far enough from your dwelling.

10 Things: Fun and Easy DIY Halloween Costumes for Kids

Well, it's getting to that time of year when we all need to start planning our Halloween costumes.  Whether you're on a budget, or you are like me and don't really want to spend $50-$100+ on a decent halloween costume for the kids, take a look at these DIY options that will take minimal work, plus you can rummage through what you already have and work around these bits and pieces to make a great, memorable and one-of-a-kind Halloween costume for your children.

1. Superheros

All you need are come cool leggings and co-ordinating tops, then you can add letters and belts to the outfit and make simple masks and capes using whatever you have around the house.

2. Flower Children

Without even a single stitch, you can piece together this cute outfit by matching a fall-colored dress with co-ordinating tights and shoes, felt petal collars and headbands with stickers will complete the outfit.

Easy Ways to Serve Cake and Ice-Cream

I found these fantastic tips on how to easily slice cakes and serve ice-cream for parties and I wanted to share them with you because I will definitely be doing this in the future. You can find the article here at realsimple.com

Slicing a sheet cake

Use unflavored waxed dental floss to make nice clean cuts in your sheet cake. Hold a piece of floss taut between your fingers (it should be about a foot longer than the cake itself). Drag it down through the cake, then release one end and pull the other end out of the cake sideways. Continue to “cut” in a grid pattern.

Carving a Round Cake

Apparently you will get more pieces if you slice a round cake this way. Use a long, sharp knife to cut a smaller circle inside the round cake. Cut the outer ring into pieces, then cut the remaining, smaller cake as you normally would, like a pizza. Give the frosting-laden outer wedges to the kids, and reserve the more lightly iced interior pieces for the adults.

Dicing Ice-Cream

I love love love this tip! Why didn't I think of this before?? Save minutes (and your poor wrist) by trading in an ice cream scoop for a knife. Place a cylindrical cardboard container of slightly softened ice cream on a cutting board and cut it in half lengthwise to create 2 half-circles. Turn each portion of ice cream cut-side down. Remove and discard the packaging. Cut each portion crosswise into slices.

Scooping Ice-Cream

To prevent a sticky situation, start scooping before the party starts. Place individual scoops in a cupcake tin lined with paper baking cups and transfer the tray to the freezer for up to several hours. After the cake is cut, remove the scoops from the paper baking cups (or not) and drop them onto the waiting plates.

Making Pasta Necklaces

Here's an easy activity to do with your toddler on a rainy day at home.  Make pasta necklaces! Chances are you will have all the ingredients around your house already, plus this activity helps your child develop his or her fine motor skills and hand-eye co-ordination. Plus, it's fun!

What you need:

• large hollow pasta (rigatoni is best, penne will work fine too)
• string or ribbon 
• a small safety pin or paper clip

1. First tie a knot at the end of the string or ribbon. This knot has to be large enough to block the pasta from falling off the thread.
2. At the other end of the string or ribbon, fasten the safety pin or paper clip to use as a threading aid in your pasta.
3. Have your pasta handy - make sure it is UNCOOKED!!! Help your child to thread the safety pin or paper clip through the pasta and down the length of the string or ribbon.
4. Continue doing this until you are satisfied with the length of the necklace.
5. Connect the ends together with a nice knot and bow and allow your child to wear it

Your child is going to love wearing this quirky necklace, especially because they made it! This activity takes very little time, minimal effort and costs hardly anything.  It is a great time filler on a day indoors.

Lamb cutlets with a red wine jus

Made this last week for dinner one night.  Australian lamb cutlets marinated with rosemary and garlic, served with a red wine jus, buttery mashed potatoes and sauteed garlic spinach.

Vanilla Custard Pots for Toddlers

An easy little dessert for your toddler and the good news is it takes no time at all and your child will love helping you in the kitchen!

The only adjustments I made to the above recipe was that I used a little more sugar.  Preheat the oven to 350F.

In a small jug, mix the egg and the sugar together, then add the vanilla extract.  This is a great opportunity to have your children involved. My daughter excitedly broke the egg and helped me stir the sugar in. She loved it!

The recipe calls for bringing the 2/3 cup of milk to a near boil on the stove but that was too much work for me, so I poured the milk into another jug and microwaved it in increments to make sure it didn't boil.  In all, I think it took less than 2 minutes.

Very carefully, slowly pour the milk into the egg mixture while stirring rapidly so the eggs won't curdle.

Place 2 or 3 small ramekins into a deep oven tray and strain the custard into them to lose any lumps.  Carefully pour enough boiling water into the oven tray until the water comes halfway up to the ramekins. Make sure no water splashes in the custards or it will compromise the texture.

Place the tray in the oven and cook for about 15-20 minutes, or until the custards are set.

Fighting stains with Cream of Tartar

BEFORE

So I was on Pinterest and saw a post about the uses for Cream of Tartar.  So I clicked on the link, which led me to a random blog with a suggestion to use Cream of Tartar for cleaning a stainless steel kettle

BEFORE

My eyes were glued, my mouth parted slightly with intrigue!! My kettle is forever decorated with the brown telltale splotches bearing next-burner witness to all my stovetop dishes of yesterday. I read the instructions and decided to try it out.

Before I launch into the description of how to clean your kettle, take a look at the photos and decide for yourself whether the result are noticeable! I admit, it wasn't 100% effective and there are still stains left behind on the kettle, however the difference is significant and worth it for probably about 10 cents worth of Cream of Tartar and a little elbow grease.

AFTER

AFTER

This is what you will need:

• what you want to clean
• cream of tartar (costs a few dollars at the supermarket)
• rubber gloves
• a scourer or good sponge
• bowl
• teaspoon
• Tbsp water

Mix the water and enough Cream of Tartar together to make a thick paste.

Pot the rubber gloves on and in the sink dip the scourer/sponge into the mixture and start scrubbing the kettle (or whatever it is you wish to clean).

Keep scrubbing for a couple of minutes until you get the desired result. You can always add more Cream of Tartar directly to the kettle and scrub.

Give the kettle a final wash with a clean sponge and some washing detergent and then rinse.  Not bad for minimal work and minimal cost!

The other side of the kettle once cleaned

Roasted Tomato and Garlic Sauce

Our neighbors dropped off a box of their last summer harvest of juicy red tomatoes. Yes, we love these neighbors! I kept looking at the tomatoes for 2 days, pondering what I should make with them that would do justice to the impeccable quality of these beautiful organically grown fruits. I wanted to enhance their deliciousness, without losing it amidst a zillion other ingredients.  I had previously made a roasted tomato basil soup, so I thought about instead making a really delicious pasta sauce. It turned out incredibly (if I may say so myself!), even my little fussy eater has been eating her pasta with the sauce (she is usually a fan of plain boiled pasta)!

So here it is.

The first thing I did was I halved all the tomatoes lengthways and cut out the hard top stem.  I placed them neatly on two sheet trays, skin down.  I think I must have had several pounds of tomatoes (15 big sized tomatoes in all).

After laying them out, I gave them all a good seasoning of freshly ground sea salt and black pepper. I sprinkled them with torn fresh basil from my garden (probably also the last for the season), good extra virgin olive oil and finally scatter about 8-10 whole garlic cloves, still with the skin in tact

At this stage, don't worry about the skins because we will peel them off later after the roasting process.




Preheat an oven to 350F.  Place the trays in the center rack of the oven and roast for at least an hour and a half.  Keep checking. You want the tomatoes to be juicy, cooked and aromatic.  Too coked and they will dry out, not cooked enough and they won't have that roasted flavor.

Once they are done, take the trays out of the oven and let them rest for a little while so they are cool enough for you to handle.

Once you can safely handle to tomatoes, keep a pot handy and start peeling the skins of the tomatoes by hand, discarding the skins and putting the flesh in the pot. Peel off the garlic clove skins and add the roasted cloves to the pot, discarding those skins too. Add the basil to the pot as well.

Everything added to the pot

Now, peeling those tomatoes is a bit fiddly, I admit.  However, I don't really know any better method (any suggestions?? - you need the skins for the roasting process).  The only thing I can say to ease your mind is that because the tomatoes have been roasting for so long and because they are cut in half, the skins should come off fairy easily.  If you wanted to, you could very well score an "X" on the bottoms at the very beginning to encourage the skins to peel away during the cooking process.

Once everything is peeled and added to the pot, lift off any of the nice pan juices and remaining olive oil on the sheet trays with a couple tablespoons of water.  Use a plastic or wooden spoon and stir, add this water to the pot.

Put the pot on the stove and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for about 30 minutes. You want to cook the liquid out a little more and meld all those flavors nicely. At this stage, I found my first pot too small, so I had to transfer everything to a larger pot (hence, the different pots in the two photos!)

After the mixture has reduced a little, the color will change slightly and the sauce will start to look more cohesive. Here is a close-up.

Turn the stove off, move the pot to a safe place on the counter near an outlet.  Use an immersion blender to puree the mixture into a sauce, which you can run through a sieve if you choose to (I didn't because I actually like a more rustic textured sauce)

And there you have it! Check for seasoning and adjust if you like.  This is great as a sauce but quite frankly, you could just eat it in a bowl with a spoon, as a soup.  I think the sauce works best with spaghetti or a more textured pasta like rotini or spirals.  I didn't take a photo of it as a finished product because I was too quick to eat it - OOPS! You could also use this sauce for proteins like chicken or shrimp, or as a base for a hearty stew or other soup.

Where did I go this week?

Apologies readers for being MIA all week. What a week! Busy busy busy everyday but here are my highlights (and excuses for being away):

1. We bought a new house!
2. We found out Number 3 is on its way!

I hope my reasons are good enough for being away all week! I will have new posts up and ready this weekend hopefully! I have some interesting recipes to share too!

Happy Friday everyone!

Seasoning a Wok

I cooked a beef stir-fry last week and made the mistake of leaving my wok in the sink overnight. Big mistake, there was a ring of rust underneath and a little bit of rust inside! Uh-uh!  If you cook with a wok regularly you know that woks are supposed to be "seasoned" (this means oiled and blackened in a sort of self- rendering non-stick process) and to maintain a seasoned wok, you should never wash it again with detergent but just hot water and then keep it oiled thereafter.

So I was now faced with the dilemma of what to do with a previously seasoned wok that now has its patina compromised.  I searched on the internet and found some useful websites and instructions and I set about fixing my wok problem.

I found this website, which not only explains how to properly season your wok but also explains how to give your wok a "facial" (exactly what I needed) and so I followed Grace Young's clear instructions.  First I got it smoking again on a hot stove and oiled it once more.

Off the heat, this oil was rubbed off with a dry paper towel.  I then added a couple of tablespoons of course salt and a little more vegetable oil and rubbed this into the wok with another dry paper towel.

It was amazing!! Not only was my salt turning brown and removing all the tackiness and grime built up on my wok, not to mention the rust, but suddenly a lovely dark patina emerged on the interior surface. It was slick and shiny! I was so happy!!!

After a few minutes of rubbing the hot oiled salt on my wok, I discarded the salt into the sink and rinsed the wok out in hot water.  My wok was looking great! Seasoned beautiful and smooth to the touch.  Here is a photo:

On Sunday, I made a vegetable fried rice using my newly re-seasoned wok. The food turned out great, did not need a lot of oil and the food slipped out nicely afterwards into its serving dish.  I was able to easily wash my wok out with only boiling hot water (couple times) and then I stuck the wok back on the heat to evaporate the water.

My vegetable fried rice

After a 4-year love/hate relationship with my wok, I think I finally get it.  I had always been washing my wok in detergents (WRONG!!) and I had also never taken the care to really season it properly (WRONG!!).  I found some additional great wok tips. Here they are.

10 Things: Raising a Socially Conscious and Capable Daughter

1. Girls can do anything boys can do. 

Don't raise your daughter to think she can't be anything and do anything at all in this lifetime. Of course, there will always be some gendered differences that are undeniable (how realistic is it that your daughter will be the national spokesperson for testicular cancer?) but your daughter should never view her gender as a setback in life. Your daughter should be exposed to lots of sports and activities so she has the opportunity to realize her potential both intellectually and physically.

2. Don't force your daughter to wear pink.  

We live in a completely gendered society and it often upsets me when you see the big divide in children's stores between girls' and boys' clothing.  When I first found out I was pregnant, we decided at first to not know the baby's sex. Well, let me tell you how difficult, if not nearly impossible, it is to buy gender neutral clothing.  The girls' section is filled with peter pan collars, ruffled sleeves and little pink polka dots and bows. Not to mention everything is adorned with "Daddy's Princess", and yet the boys' section is a walking advertisement for anything with wheels - tractors, cars, firetrucks.  

Well, my now toddler daughter loves cars, digging in the dirt, rocks and playing with boys. Sure she loves to wear dresses and rummage through Mommy's makeup drawer but we must remember that children are completely uninfluenced in the beginning by society's attempts to mold their likes and dislikes according to their genders. Why should we tell them they should be or what they should like? Well, shouldn't we just let them be who they want to be? Don't force your daughter to wear pink ruffles if she likes blue.  Mini-V loves pirates so I recently purchased Carter's Pirate Pajamas (for boys).  My husband thought I was nuts at the time but I didn't care especially at that moment when my daughter's face lit up as she saw her new PJs.

3. Don't treat your daughter like a princess, and she won't act like one

I guess this follows with the above point. Every time I see a mother of a little girl treat her like a princess, not only do I roll my eyes but, like some amazing seer, I have this foresight of what's to come for that mother... probably a spoilt little girl. Look, I get it.  Girls love all the fairytales with princesses and they love Disney and castles and make-believe but where do you draw the line between allowing them to enjoy princesses and then them actually thinking they are one?

Let's face it, in real life Princesses don't work, they order people around like servants, they are high maintenance and they use tax payer's money to promote their own agendas. Do we really want our daughters to behave like this when they grow up? Do we want them to think it is OK to be high maintenance and to squander other people's hard earned money away for their own whims and fancy? I certainly have never ever done anything in a "princess" theme for my daughters, nor do I intend to ever.  This is an unrealistic fantasy and I would much rather encourage my daughter to not be high maintenance and be a real person - someone who works hard, appreciates the substance of things and doesn't get caught up in having the need to be "taken care of".

So how do we strike this balance? We should be encouraging our girls to take pride in their appearance and carry herself with poise like a little lady but they still need to understand they are not above other people (like princesses), there is no sense of entitlement of getting what you want just because you happen to be a cute girl. In my household, there will never be any pedicures or manicures for my underage children, there will be no handbags (what could they possibly have to carry?) and there will be no spa treatments.  If you treat you baby like a princess, what happens? You have a 14 year-old brat that still behaves like a princess. Sorry if this is harsh, just stating facts.

4. Encourage your daughter to have friends from all walks

As children, we know not about differences, there is a greater level of acceptance and a more tolerant playing field of interaction. Abled children play with handicapped ones, children of different races play together, they don't know if their best friend has two Mommies or no Mommy at all. Frankly, they don't care.  They just want to know if you will play with them. Social tolerance is learned in the household so set a good example.  Show your daughters (and your sons) it's OK to play with boys and girls and everyone in between.  Let them play freely and don't let on about your own prejudices.  They don't even understand that boys are different to themselves.  I know this because last week, my daughter said to me "Mommy, you are a good boy".  There is definite confusion there and that is OK. That is what is pure about children. There is plenty of time to educate your daughters about socially acceptable practices, like not sleeping over at a boy's house, but let that time come later.

5. Girls will fall and bruise too. It's OK

Everyone says "most boys will break a bone as a child" and while this probably holds true, it is also OK for girls to climb, jump, bump and fall. My older daughter is a total tomboy, as I have already mentioned and while we have been lucky enough to be spared so far with an emergency room visit, she has taken several hard knocks to the head, and elsewhere.  My outlook is that, as long as she is lucid, behaviorally cognitive  and not gushing out with blood, chances are she is OK. Sure I have made a few precautionary phone calls to the pediatrician to make sure - you can never be too sure - but remember, most children who are not seriously hurt from a fall will cry well after they fall because they were (a) scared or (b) lapping up the sympathy.  Of course give your daughter a cuddle and give her that sympathy and love.
This is really important for your child's emotional development BUT try not to overdo it just because she is a girl.

Let your daughter be tough and shake it off, just like your sons. Don't shout "ooooh myyyy god" if she skids on the grass a little harder than usual. Just walk over calmly, ask is she is hurting, wipe the tears and tell her she is OK and you love her. They feed off your emotions and believe me, I have plenty of friends with kids who cry cry cry over nothing but any 3rd party can tell you it's because the parent overreacts and treats the child like he or she is dying.  Don't do this. Don't scare your child.  Let them cry and tell you if they are hurt - not the other way around.

6. Girls want to be firefighters too

Let your daughters play with gender neutral toys and encourage her to dream and be anything she wants to be.  We are big advocates of this in our household.  When you break it down, a child's developmental milestones are pretty basic - and un-gendered. They have to develop intellectually, socially, emotionally and physically. That's really it.  Things like gross motor skills can be worked on through many means so let your daughters play with gender neutral toys.  Build your toy collection so that anyone walking in would be unsure if you had a daughter or a son.  This means that not only should your daughter be able to enjoy cars and trucks and legos but your sons should feel free to develop their imaginative play through things like toy kitchens and dress-ups too.  Mini-V really enjoys her Thomas the tank engine train and her firefighter hat and of course, surprisingly, she still gravitates to the tea set and the dolls (isn't gender and sexuality the darndest thing? Must be innate!) but the pint is we would never keep her from playing with boy-oriented toys. In fact I have ordered plenty of "boy Happy Meals" at McDonalds just for varied toy selection!

7. Don't paint your little daughter's fingernails.

It looks silly. See No. 3.

8. Try to use varied superlatives

Please don't always tell your daughter she is the most beautiful, even if this is true. Our ultimate goal is to encourage our daughters to be strong, capable young ladies with good self-esteem.  Try to use encouraging words like "clever", "smart" and "happy".  While, yes, your daughter is undoubtedly very pretty, focusing on this sort of praise does not let her also realize that there is much more substance to
her.

Of course, you can keep complimenting your daughter on her looks but remember to compliment her other characteristics too. Tell your daughter how you think she is extremely imaginative or confident. Also applaud her abilities and accomplishments, like spelling, drawing, being a good friend or helping her little brother, too. These words and praises actually mean something and will show your daughter there is much value in such traits. It will encourage her to be authentic and proud of who she is, regardless of how she looks.

9. Educate your daughter about sexuality and sex

Our society is highly sexualized and we should encourage our children - both boys and girls - to have a good, intelligent grasp of sexuality and sex.  In this day and age, I don't even think my point needs further explanation other than don't delay this too long. If you daughter is mature enough to handle this, then she is mature enough for the evolution of your parenting role. Wouldn't you want your daughters to hear the important stuff from you anyway? Talk about these topics openly and honestly. You don't need to sit and divulge everything that surpasses their maturity or interest level but certainly open up a frank discussion so at least your daughter knows you are open to talking about these topics if and when she is ready.

10. Remember to still encourage your daughter to be feminine and soft.

I know this sounds totally archaic and almost completely contradictory to most of what I have said but I really do believe there is a certain innate soft quality about females and this should not be stifled nor discouraged. Yes, your daughter can be strong and capable but she can also be feminine and gentle. This is not to say that you should direct your daughter either way. I mean, really, you just want them to be themselves so, having said that, we should not try to influence our daughters to not be soft (sorry, double negative!) just because we associate this with something negative like being weak.  Softness does not amount to weakness. There is nothing weak about being feminine, in fact this can be a great asset.  There is something to be said about great females in this world who are (or were) extremely nurturing and gentle.... think Oprah Winfrey, Mother Theresa or Princess Diana.  You can achieve greatness even if you are feminine.  But as I have said before, neither femininity nor strength should be mutually exclusive or for the sake of the other. We are women, can't we have it all?

Vietnamese BBQ Pork Steamed Buns

So I did some late night grocery shopping on Thursday night by myself, once Super-J came home from work... I had forgotten how peaceful and enjoyable it can be when you don't have little ones in tow pulling at you and asking to hold every little thing you put in the cart (many an odd lime has had to be forcibly purchased after Mini-V has insisted on holding it through the entire shopping experience and then refuses to let it go as checkout... I don't think they want it back with teeth marks anyway!).

Well, you know what happens when you shop alone? You roam down the aisles you really don't need to go down (just so you can prolong the "alone time") and you end up discovering all kinds of exciting ingredients. Then, you have a false sense of time and buy everything you really don't need, thinking oh yeah, I will make that on the weekend.  I had one of those moments on Thursday night and purchased a mysterious packet of Vietnamese "mixed flour" labelled Bot Banh Bao.  OMG steamed buns!! I love those at Dim Sum, really how difficult can it be!?!?

Let me tell you.... 6 hours of cooking later and I made them!!! They were delicious. I am adding this to my new section called "What's Cooking" because I love to cook and know you will love to see what I make!

First, I had to roast the pork. I looked up 'Chinese BBQ pork' on the internet and found this amazing recipe.  I varied it to only use the marinade. I didn't marinate it overnight and I did omit some of the ingredients, it turned out great. Here's how I made the sauce -

Combine -

1 1/2 Tbsp sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp Chinese five spice
1 garlic clove chopped
3 Tbsp ketchup
3Tbsp soy sauce
1 Tbsp rice vinegar (I didn't have the white wine the recipe called for)
2 Tbsp Hoisin sauce
2 Tbsp Honey

 After mixing this, I smeared it all over boneless country style pork ribs and put it in an 350F oven for about 2 hours, turning it over every now and then to check.  I admit, you can cook it for less if you want but I wanted the sauce really caramelized and pork super tender.

Once the pork was cooked, I started on the Bot Banh Bao dough. I really wish you can make the dough ahead of time because having to wait for the pork to be done first adds so much time to the cooking process. Unfortunately, it is one of those sticky doughs that has to be mixed, rested, then re-kneaded and finally rolled and steamed immediately. Time consuming (especially with two small kids).

I followed the instruction on the packet. Basically, you have to mix the packet of "mixed flour" with 1 cup of milk, 1/2 cup of sugar and 1 Tbsp vegetable oil. The instructions said to hand-mix for 10 minutes. No way I was doing that, so I put it in my Kitchen Aid and set the dough hook on low for 10 minutes.

Then you have to let the dough rest for 15 minutes (this is when I took a break to have my lunch, which might I add, I did cook simultaneously!). After 15 minutes, I used the suggested 2 Tbsp of reserved mixed flour to flour my board and then you have to knead the dough for ten more minutes. Let me tell you, the dough is sticky so make sure you reserve more than the recommended 2 Tbsp of mixed flour.

The DOs and DON'Ts of owning an engagement ring

So you're engaged or married and sporting a fabulous engagement ring with that bedazzling diamond perched on top.  It's the ring either you or your partner, or maybe both of you together, agonized over for months and months let's do a cushion cut... yes, has to be a carat... no I prefer platinum... It must have a halo! Well.... what now? I will tell you! You must now spend your lifetime following my simple DOs and DON'Ts to make sure your ring always stays pristine and your luck too!

DO have your ring cleaned often.  If you are lucky enough, you have a jeweler who has offered lifetime cleaning for your investment. Take advantage of this and make sure you have your ring cleaned at least every few months. Alternatively, you can purchase a great ring cleaner on the market. I have the Brookstone Ultrasonic Jewelry Cleaner (retails for USD$49.95) and uses only tap water and advanced sound wave technology to remove dirt. It's great and there are no fancy detergents or solvents to buy or worry about.

DO take your rings off when you cook, clean with detergents - actually generally around the house. There is no need for you to be lazying around the house in your sweats and feeling the need to adorn your finger.  If you are conscientious about your stone and its settings, just leave it in a safe place in the house and do your housework stress-free.  Detergents unavoidably enter your ring setting, build up grime in small crevices and can even loosen the stone if the solvent is strong enough. Settings can also be compromised if you knock or damage your ring accidentally.

DON'T let anyone else wear your rings, even your best friend. Haven't you heard that it is completely bad luck!? It's also not wise to take your rings off when out and about, you never know when you will lose it or what will happen!

DO take your rings off at night when you sleep. Not only is sleeping with your rings a pain, literally, but it is bad for your circulation and your fingers.

DO reconsider wearing your rings on vacation, particularly at the beach.  It's not urban myth that rings go missing while snorkelling. It does happen.  Wearing a nice engagement ring could also pose potential safety risks to you and your traveling companions if traveling to areas that are not too safe. Rings have been known to go "missing" even in hotel rooms!

DON'T apply moisturizers, creams, sunscreen or any other lotion on your hands whilst wearing your rings.  Take the time to carefully take your rings off, put them somewhere safe (not on your lap!) and then apply your creams.  The oils in the creams build up over time in your ring and its setting and even good cleaning will rarely get it all out, unnecessarily making your ring cloudy and gritty.

DO take care when allowing your ring to "rub" on another metal, for example another ring, because this can cause erosion and abrasions, degrading not only the general aesthetic of the ring but also the metal quality. Gold is expensive today so you want to look after, just as much as your diamond! Always make sure your wedding band and engagement band are made of the same metal to preserve the finish of your ring.

DO not fall victim to this growing trend of having your ring re-set if you have more money or if you simply tire of your ring setting. The design you and your partner chose is symbolic of the journey you have made together and the love and commitment you share.  It is not a reflection of your bank balance or status.  Be wary of this growing trend to "upgrade" and hold on tight to sentimental attachments to a ring offered to you in the grandest and most romantic traditions known to man and woman! To her dying day, my mother wore the simplest of engagement rings, it had a teeny tiny chip of a diamond and two little tiny rubies.  She always wore it proudly because my father had saved his money and designed it just for her in the shape of an "S" - for her name.  Now, that is meaningful, not the carat size of your stone!!

Finally...

DO look after your ring!!! Keep it in a safe place, have it insured if you need to and keep that insurance current and appropriately certified.  If you leave your unworn rings in the house, be mindful of who is in your house and who has access to it.  Rings commonly go "missing", especially when left lying around carelessly.

The Important Things in Life

This is an old and memorable story that circulated years ago. Don't know if it's an urban legend in teaching us life's lessons, but it's worth sharing again.  These kinds of stories always hit home for me, since losing my mother two years ago.  It's important to always cherish the important things and people in your life and not lose sight of it. Here it is:

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes".

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.  The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they returned, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter - like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand"

Author Unknown.